I have the most disgusting habit...

...of collecting eggs throughout the day and putting them in my pockets, rather than in an egg basket. Its not the eggs or the pockets that are disgusting - it's what happens to the eggs when I forget that they are there. Like tonight for example. I collected eggs from the barn hen when I fed the sheep. An hour or so later, I went back down to check Elizabeth, who has been showing signs of labor. Not enough change to get excited about, so I crossed the aisle to sneak a peek at the newest lamb - Eira - born to Susie, a yearling, this afternoon. As I leaned over the stall rails to admire the two, I felt something dripping down my leg, and realized I had done it again! When will I learn?!

How does Webster's define a habit?
1: manner of conducting oneself
2: the prevailing disposition or character of a person's thoughts and feelings : mental makeup
3: a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior

Goodness gracious, if what I felt when I reached into my pocket is any indication of my mental state...

How do we break a habit?
About.com says "The first step in breaking a bad habit is to look at why you find this action so
compelling. In other words, what's the payoff for doing this seemingly negative thing?"

Let's see...the payoff is the convenience of the pocket - freeing my hands.

Next "Each time you perform the action, you are choosing what you value more: the payoff or the tradeoff!"

The tradeoff is having a broken egg - on my hand, filling my pocket - and everything else I have stuffed in there - egg down my leg, having to stop what I am doing to go up to the house, clean up the mess and start a new load of laundry. And the wasted effort of a hen's entire day. Yes! Clearly slipping the eggs into my pocket is a matter of convenience!

So why do we do the senseless thing we do?
Things that in no way benefit us...that in the end cause more harm than good...

I think because initially it seems so trivial, like slipping an egg into my pocket. And if nothing comes of it the first time, we do it again. And again. A habit forms. Then the egg breaks. But is that enough to make a change? No, because of all the times it didn't break. Perhaps next time it won't, and it's easier to slip it into my pocket...but is it easier to clean it up? Well, no, but perhaps this time it won't break.

Breaking an egg can be a good thing, depending on where, how and why it is done. There could be no cake without a broken egg. But in a pocket, a broken egg is a different thing entirely. The egg never serves the purpose for which it was given.

The same can be true of anger... it just slips into our hearts, and doesn't seem to cause any harm, like an egg in my pocket. There is no sin in anger. Anger is a feeling we have because we are made in the likeness of God. But, put it under pressure, and perhaps it bursts forth in yelling, like the yolk slipping from the shell. At this point, we have slipped out from under His covering, into sin. Sometimes nothing comes of it. We are alone, and venting our anger this way seems "harmless enough" so it becomes a habit, a dispostion, a foothold. Then when the pressure comes from another person harm is done. It is much more difficult to "clean up" words spoken in anger and words spoken have a way of echoing through time...
In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:26, 27
In your anger do not sin... search your hearts and be silent. Psalm 4:4

So there you have it. I begin writing about eggs, and end with a sermon on anger. Farm life is wonderful that way. Just as Jesus taught in parables...he still teaches me in parables. My days here astound me in the ways I learn about the heart of God...

I will make my best effort today carry my eggs (and my anger) purposefully...and hopefully change my habit (and my disposition!)

Even still, I am of the mind that barn coats should not have pockets!